A short story

Here is a story for you::::::::

Once upon a time, I typed a blog post in this spot.  Then I looked over it about 30 seconds ago and decided that it was one of the dumbest posts I've ever written, and it was quite pointless.  (Like a dull pencil :D)
So then I deleted all of that and wrote this instead.
The end.

Sorry for sucking at blogging lately.

<3/LJ

Where is my microwave????

Hey world.

I just got home from work, and when I walked downstairs and turned on my light, I noticed that something was horribly wrong with my pathetic excuse for a kitchen.  Being all tired and retarded, it actually took a good 10 or 20 seconds of staring for me to figure it out...

SOMEBODY STOLE MY MICROWAVE.

Seriously??

My microwave sucks.  If I put anything in there that weighs more than a dime, then it won't rotate.  So I have to pause it every 30 seconds or so and turn plates of food the old-fashioned way.
It's also super noisy.
I don't understand what anyone would want with my poor little microwave.

I went into detective mode and tried to look for clues.  No fingerprints, no signs of a struggle, nothing.  That's what I get for cleaning like a freak.

I think my landlords took it.. I'm not sure why they would.  It's 1:00 AM right now, so I'm not gonna wake them up to find out.

Fortuitously, I have breakfast cereal, which requires no microwave.  Unfortuitously, I have Special K Red Berries.  Each time I'm going to eat it, I shake the box a lot so all the strawberries come to the top.  Then after about 1/3 of the box, it's just boring, berry-less cereal and I don't want to eat it anymore.
On the bright side, I opened the box this morning, so were plenty of strawberries left for late-night-dinner tonight.

Work was fun but pretty lame, considering that I wasn't managing tonight but still did all the manager-type stuff while my actual manager (we'll call him The Cardinal) did pretty much nothing.

Things I accomplished tonight::

• Made lots of pizzas
• Cleaned the whole store
• Clocked out drivers
• Other closing-type stuff

Things The Cardinal accomplished tonight::

• Ate dinner
• Counted money

Gahhhhhh...

Oh well.

I'm going door hanging tomorrow with my awesome new friend Wesley James, so that ought to be fun!!
I sure hope I find my microwave before I actually need it...
Sleep tightly. :)
<3/LJ

Shopping fail

I posted a couple hours ago (find it right HERE or possibly below) and told you all how I had no food (and no life) because I'm not at work cooking/eating pizza.  Fortunately, I've gone grocery shopping since then!!!! :D

I wasn't even going to go.. I was actually planning on starving all night just so I could remain lazy, but I discovered a Redbox movie that was a couple days overdue and I was very determined to return it before 9:00 before they could charge me more money.  That's how I ended up at Walmart, buying things I don't need.

Here's what I bought:;:;:

• 2 boxes of cereal
• 1/2 gallon of milk
• Yogurt
• Diet coke and lemonade (not pictured because I didn't feel like carrying them inside)
• Applesauce
• Weird orange Mexican soda (??)
• A chocolate bunny

Wow, that's a shopping fail if I've ever seen one.
I guess the cereal and applesauce and stuff is normal, but I don't even really know why I acquired the orange soda stuff.  Umm.. I don't know.

I think that whenever I go shopping then I go into some sort of magical trance that looks like I got hypnotized by Kaa from The Jungle Book or something.

 

 And then I walk around for a good half hour and add things to my cart, regardless of their relevance.

Today I added wine glasses to my cart.  It took a good three or four minutes for me to realize that,
1) I don't drink wine,
2) I don't have money to spend on wine glasses, and
3) I have absolutely no reason to ever need wine glasses.
So I put those back.
LJ fail.

As for the beautiful chocolate bunny pictured, I have an actual explanation.
Chocolate bunnies are probably my second favorite food in the entire world, right after ice cream.
They're lousy though, because I have to wait all dang year to be able to eat them.  So from February 15 until a week after Easter, I cram those little things down my face like it's nobody's business.
He looks a bit like a horror movie bunny in this picture;;

 

Here's me destroying him!!!  Muah ha ha! >:D

 



He was tasty. :)
If I were not a poor little college student, I'd buy a chocolate bunny for everyone who reads my blog! :)
If I were super duper rich, I'd buy a chocolate bunny for EVERYONE IN THE WORLD!! :D:D

Have the best day ever.
<3/LJ

F*#% pizza

So for those of you who don't know, besides being a total nerd who enjoys making pizza for a living, I'm also a super-workaholic.  I just started my new job in Bountiful, and I was hired on as part-time.  Last Saturday I spent the day stressing about how I hadn't accomplished enough that week, but found out later that day that I'd already hit overtime.  So, yeah.

I work freaking tons, which doesn't bother me one little bit.  (I actually really like it.. weird, I know.)  But the lousy part about spending the majority of my awake-hours at work is ALL I EVER EAT IS PIZZA.
Yeah, I'm not freaking kidding you.
Lots of days I don't wake up in time to eat breakfast at my house (or I forget to buy milk.. fml) so I just skip breakfast and eat as soon as I get to work.  Then my day consists of running around like a crazy person and making pizzas for people, and whenever I get a couple minutes I eat even more pizza.  And if that's not enough I sometimes bring pizzas home after work is done.
All that is great because I pretty much never have to go grocery shopping, but it's also pretty gross because I bet I eat more pizza in a month than some people eat in their entire lives.

So today I had the day off.  I was supposed to go to the lousy PRT class that I have on Wednesday nights, but it got canceled and by the time I found out it was too late to get a work shift.  So now I'm just sitting around the house being a loser.

Just a few minutes ago I decided I was hungry, but I don't have much food at home so I was gonna pull myself together well enough to go buy something for dinner.  I didn't know what I wanted, so I turned to my trusted and amazing friend, the internet, for advice.

Google sent me to a sweet little quiz that someone had put together entitled "What Should You Eat For Dinner?"  [[[You can find it by CLICKING RIGHT HERE.]]]
I filled out the quiz, and you wanna know what it said?

 

!@#$%^&* my life.  !@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*

 

I'm gonna head out to the grocery store and see what happens, but I'm sure not eating pizza on my night off.

 

That pizza is undertopped. ^^^^  And cut weirdly.  And I'm a nerd.  I know.

 

I owe Ri about a million prizes.. when I stop being so dang lazy I'll give them to her.  And also take care of my blog some more.

 

<3/LJ



Happy Valentine's Day :)

Good morning, blog readers, and happy Valentine's Day.
I should be getting ready for work, but I'm instead watching President Obama answering questions about the State of the Union address.  (NERDFIGHTERS!!  haha)

I'm not a super huge fan of Valentine's Day.. mostly probably because I'm single and therefore not receiving lovely gifts.  So sometimes Valentine's gets a little like this for me::::

 

But then I remember that life is amazing!!

So if you're feeling like Stitch up there today, then remember this::::

 

I'm just headed to work tonight... making pizzas like a boss, ya know?

I hope all ya'all have a super amazing Valentine's!

<3/LJ

Skittles sickness :/

Hello, blog readers.
I'm in my epic (not) PRT class right now, and we just finished a fun (not) scavenger hunt about campus recreation.
I'm a bit sick (probably because I've eaten like 5000 calories worth of Skittles today!!) but besides that I'm fantastic. :)

I have a pretty epic day of work coming up, consisting of a sleepless night of cleaning and non-stop pizza making, so I will definitely tell ya'all all about it.  Knowing that this is coming up is making me dang lazy though... it makes me think "I need to offset my all-night cleaning extravaganza by sleeping TONS right now" even though that won't help me out too much.  Blehh.

I think I need a pedometer.
AAHHH I just looked up pedometers and they're way more expensive than I thought they were.
LOOK HERE.
Hopefully they make crappy cheap ones at Walmart, cause there is no way I'm paying $30 of hard, pizza-making labor for a pedometer.

I am really enjoying my new job and I work with a bunch of cool people, so that's great!! :)

Why am I still eating Skittles if they're making me sick??  Cause I'm stupid.  LJ fail.

Have an awesome evening.
<3/LJ

Tostadoras

I was looking through lots of old high school stuff today, and I found a powerpoint from my Spanish class from a long time ago.... It's poorly made, and my Spanish skills aren't too great, so you don't really need to speak Spanish to get what's going on.
The cool part is that it's all about toasters!!
The assignment was to make a presentation about the history of a certain object and how it has changed in present times;; most people did the telephone (boring) but my partner and I picked toasters.  So that's pretty cool, I guess.
If you'd like to see my TOTALLY EPIC high school toaster presentation, then just CLICK RIGHT HERE!!!!

Have a fantastic day!!
<3/LJ

P.S.
If the above link doesn't actually take you to a Spanish slideshow about toasters, then that means that I did that wrong.  If this is the case, then I'd like you to let me know.  So comment or email me at theseussproject@gmail.com if there's any problems;; first person to let me know wins a prize!! :)

Safety Dance and blogging nostalgia

If you think my current blog posts are bad, then you probably shouldn't read the first 2 dozen-ish posts on here.  I never read over my old posts, because they are HIDEOUSLY written.
I know that I still write lots of crap nowadays, but I think we can all agree that it is better written than pretty much everything from back in the day.

But those first blog posts sound like Shakespeare at his best compared to the posts on the blog I used to have.  I loved that blog a lot, and I will continue to post on it (in theory) at the request of my amazing friends/fellow blog writers.  But I know, 100% abso-freaking-lutely, that those blog posts were HORRIBLE.  So horrible, in fact, that I'm not going to link you to my old blog to save myself from shame.  And ya'all know that means something cause I link you to everything.

I guess that it makes sense that the old posts were bad, because I was just a kid when I wrote them... probably like 14 or 15.  But still, it was only me who wrote lousy posts; Ri and Ems always write beautiful and insightful things and I just tell everyone what I did that day.
Blehh.  I miss that blog.

Thinking about the old blog made me quite nostalgic, so I dug up an old recurring theme from that blog; the song Safety Dance by Men Without Hats.  [[Why was this a recurring theme??  Because it's dang cool, that's why.  And cause we were sophomores.]]

WATCH IT!!!!!!  You know you want to!!

 

 

I think that the singer guy from Men Without Hats looks like this guy that I knew in high school::::

I miss my old blog. :(
Not that I don't love TSP a billion times over.
I'll go post on it. :)
Especially if Ri or Ems texts me a funny joke right now.
<3/LJ

The Great Escape

Hey, blog readers!

 

I hope you're all having a lovely day, since you're all such lovely people.

Check out this video... I thought it was dang cool. :)



 

 

You can find the original video RIGHT HERE... credit goes to the creator. :D

Going to my 2nd day of my new job today, so wish me luck!
<3/LJ

Too much time on YouTube

Hi guys! :)
It's 1:51 AM right now, and I should be sleeping.
But instead I'm watching oldschool Vlogbrothers videos.
I haven't been watching these guys for too long, but they're pretty cool and they care about the world not being miserable so that's great. :)  If you haven't seen them then check them out RIGHT HERE.
I discovered tonight that one of the guys who makes the videos also turned out to be the author of one of my favorite books, Looking for Alaska.  So that's pretty cool.

In other news, I stopped cleaning my house like a crazy freak because my landlords came home and went to sleep and I really don't want to wake them up.  Instead I did less useful things, which was quite un-fun and led me to spending an hour on YouTube.

Speaking of YouTube, this is sad:::

That's a screenshot of my most popular websites.  YouTube is #2.  I think YouTube is amazing but I spend way too much time on there.
While we're looking at this, why is Amazon #4??!?  Wow.  I really don't have enough money for Amazon to be #4.
The Seuss Project used to be #4 but I accidentally hit the little "X" in the corner of the icon last week, so it disappeared for a while and hasn't come back yet.  Lamesauce. x/

I think I'll try to sleep now.. (haha, like that'll happen)
I leave you all with an adorable orca whale cartoony thing::::::::

 

Have a good night.

<3/LJ

My name is LJ and I'm a clean-aholic

Hey, bloggers.

Here's today's dilemma::
I like to clean things.
Like, um, a lot.
I'm actually a SUPER messy person, deep down.  After the bachelorette pad gets all clean then it looks like a tornado hit it within a couple days.
But when I'm unhappy or stressed, I want to clean everything in sight.
There are some days that I clean the bachelorette pad (sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, sanitizing everything in sight; the whole shebang) and then I do it all over again the next day for no real reason.  Or some days after I've finished cleaning pretty much everything, I try my darndest to find new things to clean.

There are 2 reasons that made me realize that this cleaning thing is a problem.

1. As you may remember, I started my new job on Monday.  I spent most of my shift cleaning things, which is fine by me and appreciated by my less-clean-loving coworkers.  But today, I caught myself thinking something along the lines of "I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow and clean the store some more..."  Dead serious.  And then I was all like::

 

 

2. The toaster.

 

This ^^^^^ is my toaster.

I bought it from Walmart for about $8 when I moved, before I realized that I don't really like toast and it was not a good idea to buy it.

I have used this toaster exactly twice.  Once for toast and once for a pop-tart.

I have probably cleaned this toaster about 8-10 times.

Wow.

I suck.



I should stop cleaning my feelings.

Thanks to the amazing 3 people who followed my Twitter today. :) {{especially @MariahMelena}}
I forgot I had it, but now I'm using it again.
So 10 awesome points go to anyone who follows @TheSeussProject on Twitter. :D

<3/LJ

Mystery package in the mail

Hey guys.
How is your day?
Since I am not there to hear your response, I'm going to assume that your day is incredible.
I'm glad you're having an incredible day. :)
So am I.
My first day of work went well yesterday, and although I got home quite late (actually early in the morning) it was quite enjoyable.  I'm feeling less sick today, but instead of doing productive things I mostly did YouTube-like things.

But then:::: *cue dramatic music*
I received the mystery package.

My landlord brought a box down to my bedroom and said it had arrived just moments ago in the mail.  It was all taped up with Amazon logo tape, so I was quite confused because I haven't ordered anything from Amazon lately.
The following is what was inside that box::

 

A book full of yummy-sounding vegetarian recipes. :)

 





 

DVDs of The Ring and The Road to El Dorado. :)

 



 

And a whole ton of silly bandz and friendship bracelets. :):)

 

Now the stuff is fairly cool (especially all the bracelets) but I don't know where it came from.

There are two possibilities:

1. Someone hacked my Amazon wishlist and sent me random, medium-priority items from it,

OR

2. I am buying things in my sleep.  O.O

 

If it is #2, then that is SO BAD!!!!

Aahhhh!  How do you break a buying things in your sleep habit?

I dunno, but I sure don't have money for that sort of thing.

 

On the bright side, I have veggie corn dogs for dinner tonight. :D

<3/LJ

Thank goodness for modern medicine

Good morning, blog readers!
Oh gosh, it's not morning.  I'm just bad at waking up on time so it feels like morning....

Today is the first day of my new job. (except I'm gonna be doing exactly the same thing that I did at my old job and the job before that...)  Hopefully it'll go well and nobody will think I'm a weirdo crazy person, ya know?
The worst part about starting my job today is that I'm still sick.  My voice was so friggin' ridiculous when I woke up this morning;;; I almost recorded it and posted it on here so all ya'all could here how funny I sound when I'm sick.
However, I was quite convinced that my new coworkers wouldn't think my sickie frog voice was as cool as I thought it was, so I drove to the grocery store and bought some DayQuil and Mucinex and those mad me feel way better.
Thank goodness for modern medicine.

So yesterday I was just laying around all day trying to get better, so I looked like crap and my whole bachelorette pad was messy and gross.  [[And I drank 13 cans of soda!!  Gross....]]  I was just hanging out in an old tank top and my undies cause I thought that nobody was home and it's not like I was getting out of bed too much.  But after a while I had to get some more tissues, so I went to my bathroom to grab a new box.  When I came out, there was a RANDOM HOT GUY IN MY BASEMENT!!!  And I freaked out.  I didn't know how he got there or if he broke in or if he knew my landlords or what.  And I was in my undies (not cute ones haha) looking like I got hit by the sickness train.  I had absolutely no idea what to do.
I had a deer-in-headlights moment, but after I recovered from the shock of it I ran back into the bathroom and pulled on some pajama pants.  Then I went back out and he explained to me that he was my landlords' grandson and that he was there to look at the water heater.  So I pretty much had a freakout for nothing, but still embarrassed myself pretty well.

Sickness and balloons

This is the fourth blog post I've written today, but the first one that wasn't a cheater blog post.
I feel like I've been blogging FOREVER!!  That's okay though, because I love you guys.

I am so sick right now!!  I get tummy-sick a lot, but I don't think I've had a regular old common cold in like 2 years.  So now that I'm all sneezy-coughy-stuffy-nosey, I don't know what to do!  I sure wish my mom were here to take care of me... dang adulthood.
When I moved to the bachelorette pad I went on a little freakout and bought myself enough stuff to fill a hospital (most of which I've never used) (my superhero Band-Aids are LEGIT) so I dug out some NyQuil and took some of that. 
Now since I don't get sick with colds and stuff, I can't remember the last time I had to take NyQuil so I really didn't know what it would do.  I've heard that it knocks you out pretty well, so I got all ready to sleep but then never got tired.  Instead it's just made me really slow and pretty stupid... like I was playing mahjong before I started blogging (cause I have no life :3) and I kept trying to match up tiles that didn't really match.  I don't know if being stupid is a real NyQuil side effect, but I'll have you know that stupid is in no short supply here today.
I think you're supposed to eat soup when you're sick but I don't have any so I've been eating lots of cereal.  I also ran out of bottled water so I've drank like 6 cans of Black Cherry Fresca.
I'm a failure as a sick person.

I start my new job tomorrow night, which I'm super excited/nervous for.  I'm really just hoping that I get better before I start work, because I know I'll be slow and grumpy if I'm still sick.  And I'd really like my new coworkers to like me and not think I'm a retard, ya know?

Things to do when I get better:
1. Clean bedroom
2. Do laundry
3. Wash dishes
4. Vacuum car
5. Homework
6. Stop sucking at life

Now that that list ^^^^ is published on the internet it will either
a) inspire me to do it, or
b) make me feel like more of a failure when I glance at this post a couple months from now and realize that I STILL have not vacuumed my car.


Here's a story for you::::::
Last friday I was in Brigham City visiting my parents, and after having a lovely lunch with my mom I got a text from my best friend ever Fatty Epic Fail asking me to come and save her from the torturous institution that is high school.  So I started driving down to the school to get her, but I took a bit too long and she was already in her 5th period class.  She was gonna do the old ask to go to the bathroom but actually leave forever thing but then the teacher wouldn't let her leave.  (Probably because Fatty's a notorious class-skipper.)
Fatty Epic Fail asked me to block my number, call the school, and pretend to be her mom saying that her aunt was in the hospital and that she needed to be checked out immediately.
I, however, have seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and I know how well all this worked out for them.  And since I have maybe 8% the luck that Ferris has, that stunt would most definitely end badly for me.
So I told her Mandi no, I would not lie about her dying aunt, but that I would instead come see her after 5th period.  This left me with 36 minutes to kill, so I was just driving around and enjoying the superior sound system of my parent's car.
Then I was suddenly struck with a fantastic idea:: I should fill Mandi's bedroom with balloons.
At first I didn't think I could do it in time, but after a couple minutes of wasted time I decided that trying to do something and failing was better than driving around and polluting the world for half an hour.
So I sped like a mofo to Walmart, which was like 3 miles away.  I jogged to customer service (I tried to sprint but my hat kept falling off :/) and told the lady there to fill random colored balloons with helium as fast as she could while I ran (jogged :/) to party supplies to get even more balloons.  I was only in the store for about 2 minutes, and I left with like 100 balloons.  (Mostly empty ones that I intended to blow up... I could only buy 10 helium-filled balloons because I guess there's a national helium shortage.)
Then I sped like a double-mofo to Fatty's house and blew up balloons like crazy!  I got really sick and light-headed, but I got like 40 balloons filled before Fatty got out of class.
Then I drove (badly, because I was still sick) to the school and pretended like nothing had happened, leaving Fatty Epic Fail to come home after school to a lovely surprise from her best friend ever.

Here's a picture of the finished project:: [[There are lots more that you can't see in the picture]]

Okay, so that story was more interesting in my head.. now that I wrote it all down it's kind of boring.  But yeah.  It's my blog so I'll write what I want.

<3/LJ

Groundhog Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Groundhog Day!! :):):):)
I hope you all enjoy your early spring.
(Yeah this is another cheater blog post... sorry)

Personally I'm not really the holiday type.  My family doesn't make too big of a deal about birthdays and Christmas and things like that, and since pizzerias don't close too often then I usually end up working on most holidays.  Holidays just mostly seem silly to me (especially Saint Patrick's Day, but I'm not going to get on my soap box for that one.... YET.)
But I really like Groundhog Day.  I think that it's super legit and awesome that we have a holiday that is so random and childish and just super fun.  So, yeah.

You will all be happy to know that SPRING IS COMING EARLY THIS YEAR!!!!
While they were writing all about war and poverty and the national deficit and other imporant things, the Washington Post wrote up THIS SUPER INCREDIBLE ARTICLE RIGHT HERE about Groundhog Day and Punxsutawney Phil not seeing his shadow.  So go read it... It'll make you smarter. :)

Punxsutawney Phil is, of course, the most legit and amazing groundhog of Groundhog Day, so if you click HERE you will find a fantastic infographic all about him and groundhogs in general.

Also at that website I found this picture::::

I dunno what any of you think, but I think that is dang creepy looking.
Doesn't that groundhog look like he's going to murder you in your sleep or something???
Wow.

So have a happy early spring, and don't forget to enjoy your life.
<3/LJ

I am a liar :(

I have a confession.
I am a horrible person.
And a liar.

Here's the thing.  I first thought of doing BEDF (Read all about it by clicking this here link!) a couple weeks ago.  But then on Friday I was way busy.. I accidentally slept in and then had to hurry to shower and pack and drive the 73.3 miles from the bachelorette pad to my parent's house.  Then I was just busy all day, and in the evening I went to work at Brigham City Domino's and I didn't manage to get home until like 12:30 in the morning.  By then I finally noticed that I was supposed to write my first BEDF post, but by then it was February 2nd so I made an angry face and went to bed.

About half an hour ago I remembered the little schedule button thing.. one of the amazing things that Blogger has to offer.  It looks like this::

 



And at that moment I realized that I could cheat... that I could make it say that I'd posted on February 1st and 2nd and save BEDF from dying on its very first day.
So it's actually Sunday the 3rd of February that I'm typing this, however the blog post will say that this post was written on Saturday and my first one was written on Friday.

Dang honesty.  Well since the schedule button is awesome then I intend to use it to cover my shortcomings.  However, I will give you the LJ guarantee with this::
If I, for example, miss posting on February 16 and you visit my blog on Feb 17 and see that there is no post for the 16th yet, (therefore catching me before I can write a post and pretend I wrote it on the 16th) I will give you a special prize!!  Which I haven't thought of yet, but when I think of one I'll let you know.  But it'll be cool, trust me.
So, yeah.  If you happen to catch me cheating, then email me at theseussproject@gmail.com and I will hastily send you your prize.

I dearly hope that I get better at this and that I won't need to cheat any other times.
But I am a flawed person. :/

Have a super amazing Groundhog Day. :)
<3/LJ

Blog post every day in February!! :D

Good morning, blog readers..
It is now officially February! :)
{{Why do we spell February like that??  Because I'm pretty sure that I have never pronounced the first R ever in my life..}}

To celebrate February, I've decided to write a blog post EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY!!!!

Lots of people do this with their blogs and vlogs, however many of them choose months like April or August because the acronym BEDA, for Blog Every Day in April/August/whatever month you're using, looks way better than BEDF.
So why February?
Because it's the shortest month. :)
I'm happy to be blogging again, but you all know how unambitious and failure-like I tend to be.

Google sent me to a lovely article that had this title:::::

I didn't read the article (however you can find it by clicking here) because I'm a horribly lazy person, but skimming it told me that this is going to be quite un-fun.

Hopefully, though, this will get me back in the habit of posting regularly.  And maybe it'll help me to be more creative and write less crap blog posts... I've noticed that I have lots of those.

Have a super fun February!
<3/LJ